Welcome

Hello and welcome to my blog! This blog is for Yazidi refugees in Europe and how and why we came to be here. I created it because I want to tell everyone why we left our country. I hope you will enjoy it.

Who Am I? (Shingal)

I’m Asifa, a Yazidi girl. I’m 17 years old. I’m from Iraq. I lived in Shingal. I will tell you about my simple life in my small town. I was born in Shingal in my small house. I went to school with my friends. At that time, I went to elementary school and studied for 6 years. I was always playing with my friends and my happiness could not be described. After I returned from school I went to my father’s market to help him with his work. I was always very happy when I helped my father, and I was happy in Shingal, my city because I was with all my family and all my friends. We were living life in a very simple way...

My School

My house before ISIS.

What was left of my home after ISIS. My mother is standing in what used to be our doorway.

Black Day

August 3, 2014, was a black day. On this date in my city, all the roses and the smell of roses turned into ash and smoke. The terrorists (ISIS) came to my city and there were explosions everywhere, killing many people. They asked the men to convert to Islam or die. They killed a lot of men. They took the young boys and taught them how to kill their fathers or brothers. They took a lot of women and girls. They did a lot of things to the girls. They exploited the girls and sold the girls and women – like Nadia Murad and Lamea Bushar. ISIS sold a lot of girls in my city. After they exploited the girls, they would go and sell them for one smoke or for 25 Euros. Just imagine how you would feel if this had happened to your sister, your mother, or one of your friends. They were raped, exploited, beaten, used as servants, and sold in marketplaces.

This is a picture of Nadia Murad, a Yazidi girl who was captured by ISIS. 

This is Nadia Murad and Lamea Bushar together.

ISIS took the boys and trained them to be soldiers for their army.

Our fathers, brothers, and sons were asked to convert to Islam or die.

The Mountain

After that, we almost went with our relatives and neighbors to the mountain for fear of ISIS. But before we reached the mountain Shingal my father decided to drive directly to Kurdistan through Arabs villages and that was very risky. We almost got caught by the villagers. It's was horrible. We saw our death but finally, we made it to Kurdistan. Many of my relatives and neighbors went to a mountain without water, without food, without clothes or shoes, without anything. We were in the summer season and the sun was harsh. They stayed on the mountain for one week and they said that “a lot of old people died because they couldn’t walk in the shining sun, and a lot of children died because they didn’t have any milk or water.” One family of 8 or 10 people shared one bottle of water. A lot of girls killed themselves for fear of being taken by ISIS. After they stayed on the mountain for one week, PKK (Kurdistan Workers Party) and YPG (Kurdish fighters) came and helped them. They found one road off the mountain that was safe and took them on it, leading them to the Syrian border. On the way, they said, “ they were surprised by terrorists.” They fired on them and hit a lot. After that, they tried again to get to the Syrian border, this time on foot. they said “the road was very long and so difficult. When they finally arrived at the border, they put them in a large convoy truck and they went to Kurdistan, Iraq to us. 

Kurdistan

When we arrived in Kurdistan, we slept in the streets because we didn’t have anywhere else to go. We slept on the ground for 15 days without a bed, without a pillow, without anything. 

After that, the Iraqi government started to organize camps for the displaced people. I went to a small village in Kurdistan and stayed there for a year. After that, I arrived in the camp Qadia. 

I lived in the camp for 2 years, and I met a lot of people once again. I went to school and worked as a volunteer in one organization to help the children to forget their childhood full of war, murder, persecution and disaster.

At school I met many teachers and students and learned a lot. I went to school in the camp for two years. 

My classmates. 

My teachers.

My classmates and me.

I used to live my life in a very simple way, but the war had not been stopped and the situation in Iraq was so bad. We were scared and never knew when an explosion would happen and ISIS would return to kill, exploit, or sell us. We were afraid because they might do every terrible thing they had done to us again. We said we would go to Europe to live life safely and without war – without fighting and without horror. After we left Iraq, we came to Turkey and stayed there a few days.

On My Way to Greece

After five days in Turkey, I tried to come to Greece. The road we traveled on was very difficult. To get to Greece, we came through the forests on foot. We walked in the forest for 6 hours from 2am to 8 in the morning, and after we arrived in Greece the police came, took us, and put us in jail for 15 days. The situation in the jail was so difficult that I cannot describe it. We were about 60 people in a small jail, and we stayed there 15 days without food. The food was very little and so disgusting. It was terrible. We had no shower and the jail was very dirty. The situation was so bad. Eventually, we were taken to the Diavata Camp in Thessaloniki.

My family.

My sister taking a selfie with all of the people that came with us to live in the street.

Bitter Sweet: Diavata Camp

Diavata camp was a small and quite beautiful camp. There were 1000 people in 200 caravans there. After I arrived in Diavata, I stayed there for seven months. I saw my brother for the first time in two years when I was there. It was the best moment of my life. Once again my whole family met. I also met my aunt in Greece. I had not seen her in three years. It was a very beautiful moment. My aunt is an English translator in Greece and she encouraged me to study English. Now I can speak English. I met a lot of people there who were great. I met one friend in Greece. Her name is Fatima and she is from Afghanistan. She is the first friend I made in Greece and is now my best friend. In the camp, I met Maurizio and Raissa who worked in the camp. I also met many volunteers. They were great and made me smile a lot. My English teachers were Fay and Kate. They were wonderful. They taught me a lot of things. I made a lot of Yazidi friends there in the camp and we played volleyball together. It was very beautiful. We would celebrate together often. I went to school in Thessaloniki with Greek students. My life in Diavata was so nice and quiet.

The camp was so crowded, some people had to sleep in the parks.

When we were reunited with my aunt.

When I went to school in Thessaloniki.

One day, one thousand new refugees arrived in Diavata camp. The camp was full. We didn’t have any empty space. The park, the school, the building and the street were full of people. They were in tents. There was fighting and the camp was full of problems. The camp became dangerous. The beautiful and quiet camp changed to become full of problems and fighting. The situation in the camp was very bad. Again, we had to leave and slept in the street. We didnt have any place to go.

Me.

We slept on the streets again.

Serres Camp

Afterward, we arrived at another camp called Serres camp. This camp is just for Yazidi refugees. Now we are in Serres camp. It is quiet and I’m very happy because we feel safe. I met one of my friends from primary school in Serres. She is called Jamila and I’m so happy I met her again.

I hope I will live a quiet life here without war and without fighting. I hope I will not be afraid and scared. Thanks to everyone who has helped me. Fatima, Fay, Kate, Maurizio, and Raissa – you are the best people I have met in Greece.

On my way to Serres.

On my way to Serres.

When we arrived in Serres.

After we arrived in Serres, we slept at the door. 

  

And finally, this is Serres, a quaint camp.

My hope for the future:

Thank you for listening to my story. I hope that by reading my story you can understand the situation of Yazidi refugees. This is just my story, but many people have been through the same things. I have come to Europe for safety and not for any other reason. I have written this blog because I want to explain refugee life to people, and the situations they have been through and are going through now. I hope one day my country will be safe and I can return to Iraq and my home. I hope one day to meet my family and friends again, and to go back to my simple life.
Serres 2018

Serres camp is a refugee camp in Greece for the Yazidi community. I arrived in Serres camp on the 1st of June in 2018. I was very sad to leave my friends in Diavata camp, but I didn't have any other choice at that time. I felt safe when I moved to Serres.

Serres camp

Outside the camp, the LHI volunteers wrote down the names of people in the camp, so that they could give them vegetables and other food products like oil.

In Serres, I ran into my friend Jamila from elementary school. It was one of the best things that happened to me in that camp. When I first met her, I did not know what to do. I did not know if I should hug her, or shake hands, or just say, “Hey!”. My heart was beating so fast. When  I heard her name, I remembered all of the beautiful moments we shared when we were in Shingal. It was the best feeling that I had experienced in a long time. The first day we met, she showed me around the camp. We talked to each other until 4 am. We were very excited to know what happened to each other since we were separated on the 3rd of August 2014. Jamila left Iraq in 2015 and moved to Leros Island in Greece. She lived there for 2 years, and then she was transported to Serres camp on the mainland. She lived in Serres camp for one more year and then moved to Germany in June 2018

This is me, Atifa, Lazima, Jamila and her sisters, and Francesca in Serres camp.

Our friends from Diavata visited us after we moved from Diavata to Serres. Maurizio visited us every week. I also met Raisa, Fra, and Kate in Serres. Kate bought my sisters and my rollerblades, and I loved to wear them all the time.

Me, Amir my brother, Atifa my younger sister, and Alia my oldest sister with our friends Alica and Chiara who we got to know in Diavata camp.

This is me, Alia, Yousif, and Raisa making pizza in Serres camp. 

I made so many Yazidi friends in Serres camp as well. We played volleyball together, we sat around a campfire, played the game Truth or Dare, and so many other fun games

My friends and I are having a conversation and sitting around the fire. 

After one week in Serres, I went out with my family, and we had a picnic outside the camp. The weather was beautiful and we ate, sang, danced, played, and took some pictures together. I love remembering that day. I felt I had everything in the world that day simply because I was with my family singing and dancing. We had the most beautiful day together. We laughed a lot. I could not have been any happier.

This is me and my family playing tennis outside the camp.

Having a delicious lunch with my family outside. 

Volleyball

I played volleyball in IDP camps in Iraq, Diavata camp, and Serres. Volleyball is my favorite sport, and I never get bored playing it. Volleyball means a lot to me. I have lots of memories, beautiful moments, and great experiences from playing volleyball. I started to play at the age of 16 in IDP camps in Iraq. Back then, there weren't any playgrounds to play or train on, but we learned how to play by ourselves. The best thing about playing volleyball was that I got to be with my friends and my family in my home country. There is nothing on this planet that feels as good as being home with your friends and family. On my volleyball team we had four of my cousins and my best friend, so we called our team the "Family Team.” We participated in tournaments with other teams in other camps. And you know what? We never lost any competitions or games. We were the best team in the camp, and we won about 12 awards and lots of medals. I still have my team T-shirt with me.

The thing I was most proud of was when we succeeded in becoming the best team in a refugee camp. When you are a refugee, there are millions of difficulties to overcome, and achieving our dreams often feels impossible. It’s not easy to dream of a country that is full of devastation. It's not easy to live in a community that makes everything difficult for women, but we did it, we made our small and lovely dream come true.

The other thing I am proud of is that we broke the silly rules that say females can't play football, volleyball, or other sports. Whenever I play volleyball, I remember our beautiful memories together, our joy, our happiness, and our love. Volleyball became a very big part of my life because it was something that I chose for myself with the people that I love the most. I wanted to show the girls in the camp that it is ok to choose something for themselves. There’s no shame in being free and doing what you want. Sometimes you need to ignore the negative things people say.

In Diavata, I played volleyball every afternoon with my family, my Yazidi neighbor, and some other volunteers from the camp. In Diavata, everybody was welcome to play. I was happy because I felt like women and men were treated the same. 

In Serres camp, usually, only men were allowed to play volleyball; few girls were playing when I arrived at the camp. I had to fight and argue to get a chance to play just because I was a girl. The men were not happy when girls were allowed to play volleyball. I was so not okay with that. I often felt so frustrated.

A picture of me with my team in IDP camps in Iraq. After we defeated the yellow team, we got the title of the best team in the camp.

This is me playing volleyball with my friends and neighbors in Diavata camp. The one in the middle wearing a green pullover is me.

I took this picture while men were playing volleyball in Serres camp. 

I once played Backgammon with my neighbors. I beat both of my neighbors, and then an old man came to us. He was the best player in the camp, and guess what? I beat him, too. I couldn’t be more proud!

Me playing Backgammon with my neighbors in Serres camp.

Atifa and I surprised our oldest sister Alia. We organized a small party for her 20th birthday in a lovely cafe in Serres city. We had a great time that night.

Me, Atifa, and Alia celebrating Alia's 20th birthday. 

Volunteer Working in Serres

While I was in the Serres refugee camp, I volunteered with the Lifting Hands International (LHI) Organization. I met so many amazing and supportive volunteers like Katherine, Holy, Lucy, Anna, Maria, Sabrina, Iona, and so many others. I did several activities while I was volunteering. I took English and German classes and enjoyed doing Yoga with so many beautiful and amazing ladies. 

My friends Jalal, Almodish, and Julia in Serres

Katherine is one of the volunteers who I met in Serres camp and she helped me with my blog in Serres camp. She was teaching Yazidi women the English language in Serres camp. She is a very close friend to me and my family.

My sisters and I with Anna and Maria in the LHI center in Serres.

My brother Amir with our neighbor's baby girl and our friend Chiara.

We had the most amazing week with these beautiful women, Julia and Jess. They taught us yoga for one week every day. We spent five hours practicing and learning how to teach yoga.

Julia and Jess had written a blog about my mother Shirin, my two sisters, and me. Here is the link to the blog:

https://ompower.org/blog/2018/10/14/introducing-alya-asifa-atifa-and-sharee-ompowerment-serres-trainees-2018

Christmas in 2018 in LHI tents. The volunteers sang us the Jingle Bell Rock in German, English, Greek, and Spanish. We Yazidi don't celebrate Christmas, so this was my first Christmas, and it was lovely.

Me while I was teaching the young people the English language in Serres camp. 

The difference between the school in Thessaloniki and Serres.

Thessaloniki school

I always wanted to be in school with the students I saw whenever I went to the city of Thessaloniki. I wished to be like them. One day, on my way back to the camp, I was dreaming and imagining being in school, what it would be like to have lots of friends and to be able to go out with them. Suddenly, I heard the bus driver screaming angrily, shouting out, “THIS IS THE LAST STATION: Refugee Camp.” I was brought back to the present. I knew that this was what my reality looked like, and this was where I belonged. I tried to learn English in the camp so I could communicate with some volunteers. One day, I heard that they were going to take us to one of the normal schools with Greek students. No words could describe my happiness when I got this news. I prepared myself and went to the city. I bought a school bag and some new clothes and the next day I went to school with seven other refugee students. Three of them were from Afghanistan, one of them was from Pakistan, one from Syria, and a boy and I were from Iraq. The school was huge and there were hundreds of students outside the school playing. They did not put us with the other students because we were not good at speaking Greek, so they took all of us in a class and taught us the language for almost five hours each day. After 6 months, we were finally able to take one normal class each day with the Greek students.

This is when Fatima and I went together to a class. Fatima is from Afghanistan, and she is one of my best friends. Now, and as always, the first questions we got when we arrived in this class together were, “Why are you here? What happened to you in your countries? Why did you leave? Where do you live now?” and on and on. I could not speak Greek well, so Fatima answered all the questions. After the class was over, I asked Fatima what they were asking us and she answered, “The same questions as always.” She was very angry. She said, “While I was answering the questions, some students were laughing at us and talking in Greek.” I did not want to believe Fatima even though I saw how they behaved with us and their reaction when we were in the class. I think it was because I wanted so badly to be in a normal class and to study other subjects. The next day a teacher came to take us to this normal class again, but nobody wanted to join because everyone had seen the students’ behavior towards them. They told the teacher, “We would rather do sports outside.” I refused to go outside. I said, “I would rather take a class with the other students.” I was very nervous and afraid to enter the class. I was thinking about how they would react, what they were going to say, and who I was going to sit next to.

Finally, I knocked on the door and entered the class. I could hear my heart beating. I looked at all of them. There were about 25 students. Then I looked at the board. They were working on math. I love math. I told myself, “This is your favorite subject, so go and enjoy it.” I looked at the teacher, and she looked at me, asked me my name, and welcomed me to her class. The teacher said to me, “Take a seat, Asifa.” There was only one seat left, and a boy was sitting there. I had no other option, so I took the seat next to him. As I did, he stood up and moved to another seat. At that moment, I hated that school so much. I did not want to go back anymore, and I felt so bad, sad, and not welcomed. All the students were laughing and talking in Greek. I waited for the teacher to say something, but she did not seem to care. I never imagined that something like this would happen to me. My eyes were full of tears, and I did not want to talk to anybody because if I had, I would have cried. When I left, the seven of us went back to the camp by school bus. When I got home to Diavata camp, my mom asked me if everything was alright. I said, “Yes, don't worry, Mom.” I walked outside of the camp that evening. I sat and looked back at it, and I started to cry. I cannot describe the sadness I felt. Then I took a deep breath to calm myself. I thought about how all of this was just because I was a refugee and lived in a camp. This was why I was being treated differently.

Because I believed in myself, I took that obstacle as a reason to never give up on my dream of completing school and to show people who I am, where I came from, and why I came to their country. I started my blog about my story trying to explain to the world what happened to me and my community when ISIS attacked our city. I started to work with some NGO organizations in different refugee camps in Greece. I helped my refugee community by distributing clothes, food, translating in Kurmanji and Arabic, organizing parties for children, and other volunteer work. At the same time, I gained confidence and an open mind while speaking and sharing with volunteers. I explained to the volunteers our story and how living in refugee camps or being called refugees affects us. Because of the rude behavior of that student, I started to do all of this. He hurt my feelings so badly, but he helped me to see why I should speak up and share my story. I learned that some people have to be taught about who they are.

Me and my Afghan friends, Fatima, Farida, and Yazidi friend Dkra in the school in Thessaloniki. 

Serres school

After I moved to Serres camp I went to school in the city. When they told me that I was allowed to go to a normal school I didn't feel so excited. I didn't even go to the city to buy some new clothes. I was sad about not wanting to go to school because I was always very happy to be in school. The next day I went to the school in Serres city with four other Yazidi students. All I was thinking about from the camp to school was; This time I won't try to make any friends or answer any questions about the reason I am in their class. I was so ready to be that weird person who doesn't look at anyone or talk to anyone in school because I didn't want to be in a situation like in the other school in Thessaloniki.

Finally, we arrived at the school. We went to the principal's room and they welcomed us and registered us in school. Then, they separated us into two groups two. Each pair was sent to a different class.  Dkra and I went to a class together, and when we were about to enter the class, I was not even afraid. I did not even think about how their behavior and hospitality would look like. After we entered the class, I noticed that there were about twenty students in the class. They were talking English, so the teacher welcomed us and asked if we could speak Greek or English. I told her I could speak English. After that, she asked our names and told us to take a seat. I sat next to a girl called Fotini. She was the sweetest and the humblest girl I've ever sat next to! After the class was over, all of the students came to us and the first question they asked us was, "Would you like to stay at our school?” The next questions were, “Do you have boyfriends?” and “Would you like to go out with us sometime?” For the first time in my life, I was not asked about my story and why I came to their country. Honestly, I  was very shocked. I never thought that I would meet some kind and lovely people like them.

The next day, we did some sports together and we talked about so many things like what is your favorite color, subject, music, etc. They showed us the school and the cafeteria. The next day, they asked me how many languages I could speak. I told them, "I can speak Kurmanji, Arabic, English, a little of Greek, and German.” They didn't know that the Kurmanji language even existed! So, I taught them some words in Kurmanji and how to write their name in Arabic. I had so much fun being in their class. After two months, I was allowed to travel to Germany with my family, so I had to leave that school and say goodbye to them. When I told them that I was leaving to live in Germany, they were sad. But at the same time, they were happy for me because they knew I would be in a better country, and I would have a good school and job.

Charitini and Evelinaka showed me the shops before I came to Germany. On my last day in school, I wrote a goodbye speech to thank them for being so generous and kind. After the speech, we all took a picture together. We still communicate with each other on Instagram, and I am so happy that they are my friends.

A picture with my classmates in Serres

Me and my sisters with my school friends in the city in Serres.

2019 on my way to Germany

After one year and six months, we finally got our Greek ID and were allowed to travel, so we decided to travel to Germany to be united with my brother. In February 2019, my family and I went to Ancona, Italy by cruise ship. After we arrived in Ancona, we booked our tickets for the Flexibus to Frankfurt, Germany. After almost 24 hours, we arrived in Frankfurt. Then, we took a break for three hours and drove to Dusseldorf where my uncles and brother lived. Four hours later,  we arrived in Dusseldorf.

On my way to book our tickets for the cruise ship. 

After about almost 10 hours we arrived in Ancona, Italy

After that, we arrived in Dusseldorf and were united with my oldest brother Alaa.

I was very happy that I finally made it to Germany and saw my family once again for the first time in a long time. After one week, we asked for asylum in Germany and transferred to a camp in Bielefeld. I was not feeling good those days. I thought I wouldn't spend my 18 birthday in a refugee camp, but unfortunately, I did. I met a German friend, Mellina, in Greece while I was volunteering with (IHA) whose parents were living in Bielefeld. One day her parents visited us in the camp, and we went to McDonald's together. They were very kind and nice people. They were very happy to see me and my family. They welcomed us to their home with a warm and open heart. After one month we moved to another camp in Paderborn, and this time my friends Melina and her parents visited us again. We celebrated Melania's father's birthday. They brought some delicious homemade birthday cakes, and we had a very nice time.

My friend's parents and my family at McDonald's near the camp in Bielefeld. 

Melina and her family visited us in the second camp in Paderborn.

After almost three months, we moved to another camp in Mülheim an der Ruhr, the city in which I am living now. Luckily, there was a beach volleyball court near the camp, so my sisters Alia, Atifa, and I registered ourselves in that club. Once again, we had a great time playing volleyball.

Mülheim an der Ruhr camp in Germany 

My younger brother Adil. He is holding an umbrella and enjoying the rainbow. 

Raisa, Francesca, and Mama Vivia visited us in the camp. We had the most amazing time together. The camp was near the Ruhr river. It was very quiet and nice outside, but the inside had terrible kitchens. The toilets were separate from the living rooms. After almost three months, we moved to a very small flat where there were only two rooms for seven adult people. I literally didn't have enough space to buy books and clothes! My four siblings and I shared a room and all five of us went to school and took German language courses. It was so crowded that it was sometimes very difficult for us to even do our homework!

Adil and Atifa played a water game with Francesca in Mülheim camp. It was very hot, 30 degrees, and inside the camp was hot, too. 

My friend Melina called me and told me that they would have a demonstration in Cologne city for Refugees who are living in very difficult conditions in refugee camps in Greece. She asked me if I would like to give a speech about my own experiences in refugee camps in Greece. I agreed and the next day I took a train to Cologne and I shared my speech with thousands of people.

Here is my speech:

My name is Asifa and I'm going to tell you about my experience as a refugee who has lived in Greece's camps and what I have been through for the last years. In 2014, ISIS attacked and bombed my city Sinjar, killed my people, and took women and girls. They raped the girls, sold them, and killed them. I survived that genocide and became an immigrant in IDP camps in Kurdistan. I lived there for 2 years. Since the situation was getting worse in Iraq, I decided to go to Europe to live a safe life with my family. I went to Turkey and stayed there for one week. Then I went to Greece and became a refugee in Greece's camps for 1 year and 6 months. Our journey to Greece was very difficult. We walked for hours through the forest, and when we arrived at the Greek border the police came and put us in jail for 15 days. The situation was very difficult. The jail was very dirty, and there was not enough food. Eventually, we were taken to the Diavata camp in Thessaloniki.  Diavata camp was a small and quiet camp but after a few months, 1,000 new refugees arrived. The camp was full. We didn't have any space. The park, the school, the building, and the streets were full of people. I cried every day when I saw children in front of me walking without shoes in freezing weather and sleeping on the floor, becoming hungry and sick.

At that time, a friend of mine was living in Moria camp on Lesbos. It was one of the largest refugee camps in Greece. She told me that the situation was getting worse and worse. There was no protection for women and children. The food the military provided to the refugees was very little. It's not about Moria or Diavata. In general, children shouldn't live in camps. Children become very discouraged with their lives when living in refugee camps in Greece. Some of them even bite and scratch themselves. A lot of them have mental health problems due to the tragic life they live in refugee camps in Greece. These children came to Europe and expected safety, but they didn't find it.

When I see pictures of the people still living in camps in Greece, I see myself in those people and remember the hell they are living in now. I lost hope in those camps. I lost two years of my education. When I was in Greece, I wished that someone would help us. I was hoping to live in a warm and safe place where I could dream, where I could complete my education, where  I could live like a human.

This is my story, but there are thousands of refugees who have been in the same situation as mine. There are thousands of refugees who are standing right now on the Greek´Turkish border, facing the most terrifying and criminal situation. Children are dying from tear gas and drowning, The Greek coast guard tries to sink boats carrying unarmed people who are fleeing war. Defenseless people are being shot at while pursuing hope and safety.

Refugees have been through a lot of horrible situations. They don't deserve to face further trauma on the Greek-Turkish border. Europe was our last hope to survive the war in Iraq, Syria, Afghanistan, and other countries. What is happening in Europe and on the Greek border is a crime against humanity. Shame on you Europe, for letting this happen to women and children. No one should live in these horrible, inhuman, and unfair conditions. We shouldn’t allow this to happen in this world. We should be united and help each other. We should make a better and safer world for all of us and leave no one behind.

I took these pictures of the children in Diavata camp,

to show you how children were and are still living in refugee camps.

I took this picture the first day we arrived in Serres

The children were waiting for a piece of bread and an apple.

The unexpected Year 2020

I thought 2020 would be my year. I thought that after all these years living in refugee camps, I would find peace and have a normal life, but things did not go as I’d hoped. After the coronavirus spread all around the world, we went into lockdown.  I lost my part-time job, and they canceled my German course. I applied to a school and got rejected.

Before I took my first step to start over, I had to leave everything and stay at home. Yes, I know our health always comes first, and I know I was not the only one who was facing this. I know people were suffering and dying, but  I was so angry that I would ask myself every day, "What did I do to deserve this?" I had a  life in poverty, without clean water, electricity, and enough schools and books. Then the war came that destroyed us and left us in pieces. We became displaced and slept outside for years.

Finally, after so many years, when I thought I had reached the summit, someone came and pushed me down! Once again, I fell into all the deep shit that I had been experiencing for years, thinking about how many years I lost of my education, about how weak I am, about all the horrific things that happen to refugees every day, thinking about my simple life in my beautiful city Sinjar, and my beautiful memories with my family, friends, and neighbors. I kept thinking about how many children go through what I have been through, thinking of not being good enough, and thinking of so many negative things that happened during the lockdown.

I almost went crazy, and I was completely lost in my thoughts. But one day, I woke up and I asked myself, “Is this your happy ending? Is this how you want to end up?” At that time, I told myself that it was not the end of my story, this was not even the beginning of my story! A week later, Melina called me and told me that they were going out to help the people who were trapped and stuck between the Turkish and Greek borders. So, I took a train to Cologne and read a speech in front of more than 2000 people.

Demonstrating in Cologne, Germany for the refugees in Greece, who were stuck between Turkish and Greek borders for years. 

On my way back home, I saw Malala's story asking girls about their dream careers so that she could share them on Women International Day 2020. I wrote down my career dream and sent it to her. When I awoke later, my dream career was posted on her Instagram and Twitter page. 

I met my best friend Jamila In Cologne, and we spent the most amazing night on the Rhein river, talking, listening to music and water, and watching the moon and stars. A day later, I went to pick up my friend Tye from the Dusseldorf airport. I got to know Tye In Diavata camp, and since then he has been like a brother to me. We had so much fun together, and my mother taught him how to cook Yazidi bread because he loves our bread.

We spent an awesome time together in Dusseldorf.

A month later, the government opened everything again in Germany, so I started to finish my Intermediate German language course and started on the Upper-Intermediate German class. I started school, and I worked in a nice cafe. Then, I applied for an online English course with the paper airplanes organization,  and I was accepted. 

A month later, I got a message from Daphne, asking me if I wanted to join a podcast. So, I joined Youth UnMuted, which works with forcibly displaced youth around the globe. -  I Joined the all-female Youth Advisory Board and have taken the lead on launching a youth-initiated podcast called Now You Hear Us. In this podcast, we record our voices and share our experiences as refugee women, discussing topics such as human rights, women and youth rights, and offering insight into our lives.

 

2021

After one year and seven months in a very small flat, we moved to a bigger flat almost five months ago. I am taking my German course as well as online classes, and I am okay with it. I have kind of adapted to online classes. I do not mind online classes as long as I am learning. I finished the first semester of secondary school. I will finish high school in 2025. Yes, I know it is a long journey, but it will be worth it, and I'll never stop until I finish school and go to college. I have so many brilliant and creative ideas and goals. I will fight every day to make these goals real and bring them into reality.

I am also helping the https://www.shropshirefoundation.org/ to organize online ukulele classes for refugee girls that were in the Serres camp in Greece. I am learning how to play the ukulele myself and have taken up the violin as well. The reason I want to learn the violin is that I believe through playing the violin, I can express every little detail that I want to share with the world. I also love writing. Writing is the safe place I go to whenever I feel lost, happy, angry, disappointed, or excited. There are always some things that I am afraid to share with others when writing or speaking. I hope my violin music will cover that and heal those deep dark feelings inside me.

This is my Violin and Ukulele. 

My life seems normal now. I go to school, take German courses, work a part-time job, and am working on my favorite hobbies. Now I am in a safe country. I have everything I want: my family, my school, and my friends. But is this my happy ending? Is this my destiny? I keep asking myself this question every time I think that I am finally like other students and other people I see in school or in the city. Sometimes, I am not sure if we even survived! We have survived physically, but still, feel trapped mentally. We fight just to survive one more day.

I will not survive, cannot be free, or have a normal life until all the 2800 Yazidi women and children still in ISIS captivity are rescued, thriving,  and free. I was one of the lucky ones with a story like mine. I saw nothing!!! I didn't lose any one of my siblings. I wasn’t sold, tortured, forced to marry a stranger, forced to convert to Islam, or become a sex slave! 

Just imagine! I have not seen anything like these things with my own eyes,  and I am still so depressed, exhausted, sad, and broken when thinking about my cousins and friends who came back from ISIS captivity. Imagine how they are feeling after having been raped, tortured, used as sex slaves, and forcibly converted to Islam. They were forced to marry. They had to watch their fathers be executed and witness their young brothers die as suicide bombers and train as ISIS fighters. They saw their Grandmas being killed because they were too old to be sex slaves. There are thousands of Yazidi women and girls who faced these horrible crimes in ISIS captivity, and there are still more than 2800 who are still facing this after seven long years. 

Since 2014, thousands of Yazidi survivors have been living in IDP camps. It has been almost seven years, and they are still homeless. They cannot go back to their homes in Sinjar because their homes were bombed by the Islamic State and are surrounded by mass graves. The bones of their grandparents, fathers, and brothers have been lying on the ground for seven years.

Yazidi mass graves in Sinjar. 

Yazidi IDP Sharya camp in Duhok, Iraq  (Before) 

This was Sharya's camp for Yazidi people two days ago. Yazidis are suffering every day in the IDP camps in Iraq.

I will be free when my people are free. I will be safe when all the perpetrators who committed this genocide against my community are punished for their crimes and brought to justice. I will be normal when I can go back to my simple life and live in my city safe and with dignity.

I do not want to be called a refugee for the rest of my life. I want to go back to my home and build my home, school, and city. I want to be sure that ISIS will not destroy it again. I don't want my children to be killed just because of their religion. I want freedom, peace, and justice for my people. I don't want the ethnic cleansing, women's sex slavery, children suicide bombers, and  Yazidi mass graves that are being normalized and forgotten. I want to feel safe while I'm in my city with my people. This is what I want in the future, and I will fight for justice until my last day.

A message to all the refugees: Lastly, I want to say one more thing on refugee day. None of the refugees want to live the life they are living now in refugee camps. We didn't choose this path for ourselves. We had to leave our homes, our family and friends, and our schools. What we have been through, and the circumstances we have faced were not our choices. No one wants to leave their homes, be homeless, and run from place to place just to survive. Everyone wants to live somewhere safe. 

Today, there are more than 80 million refugees in the world. They are facing hunger, thirst, borders, camps, and death. With a small liter of water or a piece of bread, you can save hundreds of refugees. You can do a lot with a small action. Everyone can make a difference and support people who are in need. We should know that all lives matter and it's the responsibility of each one of us to make sure that no one is left behind.

Secondly, I just want to tell all my friends who are still stuck in refugee camps, all the refugees in Greece, and all the refugees around the world: You are the strongest people I have ever seen. Yes, you are! I know you will make it. Just focus on your dreams and never give up on hope and peace. I believe in all of you. I know that there is always something to fight for, and you will reach your dreams very soon if you just look forward and keep going. Your life matters and you are not forgotten. I want you to always remember that there is always someone who believes in you and your skills. I believe in all of you and I love you all so much.

I wish you all peace.

Thank you so much for reading the second part of my journey. I hope you understand the message. We are not free until we all are free.